i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize