ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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