YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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