you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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