i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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