I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize