Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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