Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
