So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
