I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
