just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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