She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
