I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
