dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
