is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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