some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
