I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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