Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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