i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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