I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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