Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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