it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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