I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
