Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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