well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize