I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
