it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
