it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
