My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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