HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
