I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
