Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
