last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
