Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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