he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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