is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
