I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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