Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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