So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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