whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
