This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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