it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize