So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want her autograph on my taint
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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