I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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