So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
