The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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