The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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