Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
