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Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
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