So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
