dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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