You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
