hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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