So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
