I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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