i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize