Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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