new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
