alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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